Four years ago I wrote about a special vacation I took with my parents and older daughter. It was the last trip we took with my dad. At the time, I pointed out that American workers left 768 million vacation days unused. Last year, 23% of workers didn’t take any of their vacation days! And roughly 46% of workers left some of their PTO unused. When you add it up, only 31% of us use this valuable perk. And with summer almost upon us, there will be plenty of posts advocating for the benefits of taking vacation time. And I’ll be cheering you on to take the da#% trip. But before you hit your favorite travel site or look at your work calendar, let me caution you about the hidden cost of making priceless memories during your next vacation. Believe me, it’s worth it but the cost of those travel memories should be part of your planning.
Travel with Dignity
This year, my mom and my two daughters joined me on an ocean cruise from Italy to Greece over Spring Break. The memories we made together and individually on previous European trips were a major reason in the planning behind this particular choice. My mom taught English, and Ancient Greece and Italy speak volumes to her. Hence the itinerary and the choice of Viking Cruises. After all, she likely knew more about Ephesus than the tour guide did.
Last year, about 44% of older Americans took an international trip. Mom yearned to visit Herculaneum again. But getting in and out of the van, walking up rocky hillsides, and standing made this day trip too physically demanding. And emotionally draining. As the family organizer, it fell to me to redirect our choices of excursions to ones less physically demanding. While I could make those choices during the travel planning stage, I couldn’t foresee that a van wasn’t senior friendly. The bitterness of being so close to seeing this place again and being unable to walk among the ruins was hard to accept. Seeing her struggle to travel with dignity was just as hard to accept for me.
Intergenerational Agendas
Including both daughters was a no brainer, which dictated the timing to a certain extent. We all know why it’s important to cement family bonds with our older family members while we can. And my daughters have a strong relationship with “Marmie.” But a Baby Boomer and two Gen Zs have different travel styles and agendas.
Our days aboard ship and those spent exploring delightful destinations 
offered a wealth of choices. But the default setting for who was managing intergenerational choices, luggage, transfers, and tips was left to me just as it is to the millions of daughters in the Sandwich Generation. On the other hand, I’ve learned from wiser voices who insist we need to care as much for ourselves as we do for others. Giving myself time to relax and recharge was just as vital as making sure everyone kept track of their passports.
Shedding the Guilt
This 10-day voyage lived up to expectations as we each made priceless memories. In between figuring out where we needed to be and how we were going to get there, we enjoyed an elegant high tea. We had the time to explore Rome, ancient and new with a drive and guide. We celebrated Greek Easter on Crete, complete with midnight fireworks.
I was fortunate that my parents loved to travel, and they instilled a love of travel in me. It’s why mom and I are planning our next trip to the South of France. Maybe next year I’ll check off a bucket list destination with an Alaskan cruise or trip to Seattle & Vancouver. Or maybe it’ll be an extended weekend visit to Greenville, SC to explore everything it offers. It doesn’t matter how grand or simple the trip. Travel is a gift. When we step outside our daily grind, we discover unique experiences, create priceless memories, and expand how we see our world.
Yes, travel comes with a personal cost. But it also gives me the chance to see my mom as the brilliant teacher she was in the classroom. It gave me the chance to see my dad as the thoughtful attorney who guided instead of insisted.
Over and above all the personal enjoyment such a trip offers, there’s one more important takeaway. Travel with older adults gives you the chance to see them as who they are, beyond the exterior. Sitting in a trattoria on a sunny afternoon offers time to enjoy a glass of wine and listen to family history. Their wisdom gained in the classroom or a courtroom shared as you contemplate Grecian ruins or a Roman theater can nurture in unexpected ways. So yes, take the trip. Relax and enjoy the complications of travel. Give in to your curiosity as you encourage each other to ask questions and share insights. You’ll never regret it.
